I’m Not Okay With This Anymore
Author’s Note: I wrote this monologue at peak anger. All the little micro-aggressions I have faced and have seen piled up into a wave and crashed like a tsunami. Here is the aftermath.
Content Warning: Strong language
Can you just stop?! I can’t take this anymore. Get your oily little fingers far away from my food. You do this every single time we eat. You point at my food, which in fact, is normal Taiwanese cuisine, gag, say “ew what is that” or “keep that far away from me”, and then giggle at the rest of the lunch table, pinning me and my food against all of our friends. And when I gather up the strength to start eating despite your comments, your whiny little voice goes “you’re actually eating that?” Do you know how many homemade lunches I had to throw out because of you? I sat there and swallowed your racism like chunks of uncooked rice. For months I went home starving and crying. I couldn’t bring myself to tell my grandma that I threw out her cooking because you said it was disgusting. She would’ve told me to suck it up and eat the food, but she doesn’t get the extent of your gaslighting. Don’t even get me started on the boba. Oh my god. You make fun of me for bringing Taiwanese food from home but you still ask all our friends to get “boba” with you and ignore the fact that boba is from Taiwan. Like what is the actual f? You pick and choose which parts of a culture to be racist towards and which parts to take for granted. Honey, it doesn’t work that way. You are a racist, just admit it. Last time I invited you over to eat dinner with my family because I thought, “you know what, since she’s trying boba, she might be changing.” You tried the spicy tofu to prove a point or something and it was too spicy for you but you didn’t admit it. All you did was demand for milk and blame my f*cking grandmother for killing your tongue. I’m sorry you can’t handle a little f*cking spice because you grew up eating plain *ss white bread. You disrespected my grandmother on the one thing she prides herself on. You do this to me so much that I’ve reached the peak - I can’t keep going on like this. F*ck you for disrespecting my grandma. F*ck you for glorifying bits of my culture and then stomping on the rest. F*ck you for making me feel like I’m below you. I’m not okay with this anymore.
