staring contest with the sun

Author’s Note: This three-part poem was published in Amphion (Arts and Literature magazine) in 2022.

May contain triggering imagery about SA.

---

life and the sun

From the minute I was brought

into the light of day,

the passion of his smile was 

amorous

like Mother’s kiss, 

tender

like Grandmother’s embrace.

The rays, his rays, 

which caressed

my skin every day,

made my bones grow

strong

and resilient

able to fight everyone

but him.

The rays, his rays,

painted the stars,

the supernovas of the night,

across my skin 

like waves of gold, 

an irresistible tan,

to everyone

including him.

The rays, his rays,

scorch my cheeks

a rosy

pink

so I blush

at the sight of 

him

the sun

My light.

the sun in the night

You would expect

the sun to sleep at night

and forgo his duties of burning 

the land and spreading

his love

and affection

to everyone.

staring contest with the sun

I tremble 

when he reaches out to me, so

I wear caps 

and duck under umbrellas

Put on layers of sunscreen till my skin 

is white

and I am reflective.

If I miss a spot 

of the thick white paste 

I slather on my body, then 

it turns red

and blisters with pain.

sometimes I forget

my hat, my sunglasses

and he talks to me.

where’ve you been?

I’ve missed you.

I’m sorry.

I used to stare straight into his eyes

unafraid of the sting

my pupils shrinking 

under his gaze.

Blinded 

eclipsed by his light

lured by his golden

glow

And I thought I conquered him.